Sick Jokes

I can't remember whether we ever started a thread like this before, but in any case...

When I was a kid, "sick jokes" were the popular thing among the kids, mainly because our parents hated them. I'm sure there were a great many we didn't fully understand, and I'm also sure that probably kids of every generation think they invented the sick joke. I haven't heard any that fit the genre in quite a while, but an old friend sent me this one, which certainly fits. If you have any more, please post them.

Quote :

       A seriously depressed woman stands at the edge of a cliff, trying to get up the nerve to jump.
       
       A passing hobo stops and says,"Since you're about to kill yourself anyway, would you mind if we had sex first?"
       
       The woman said "Hell no! Get away from me you sicko!"
       
       The bum turned to leave and muttered, "Fine, I'll just go wait at the bottom".

A woman is sitting at the end of the bar.  She yells, "Hey bartoonder.  Bring me a martooni.  I have heartburn."

Bartender replies, "first of all, I'm a bartender, not a bartoonder.  Second, the drink is called a martini, not a martooni.  And third, you don't have heartburn.  Your tit's hanging in the ashtray."

Two gynecologists are conversing over lunch. Gyno-One is picking at his salad, and says, "I had a new patient last week."

Gyno-Two: "Oh, yeah?"

Gyno-One: "Yeah. She had a clitoris like a pickled gherkin."

Gyno-Two: "Really? That big?"

Gyno-One: "No. That salty."