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 Eternal Questions

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NoCoPilot

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PostSubject: Eternal Questions   Tue Dec 17, 2013 7:03 am

Why do cars run better right after they're washed?
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NoCoPilot

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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Tue Dec 17, 2013 7:52 am

Why would psychics have to advertise?
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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Tue Dec 17, 2013 2:31 pm

Why do drive-up bank machines have Braille instructions?
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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Tue Dec 17, 2013 3:45 pm

Do lady astronauts wear bras in zero-g?
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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Wed Dec 18, 2013 8:26 am

Why do some drivers leave the same gap of 3-4 car lengths in front of them, at stop lights?
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richard09

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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Wed Dec 18, 2013 9:42 am

NoCoPilot wrote:
Why do some drivers leave the same gap of 3-4 car lengths in front of them, at stop lights?

When I was learning to drive, I pulled up about a foot behind a car at a red light. The instructor said "What are you going to do if he puts his flashers on and climbs out to look under the bonnet? [the hood, for you yanks] It does happen". 3 or 4 car lengths is an exaggeration, but you need to give yourself room to pull around the car in front if it gets stuck.
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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Wed Dec 18, 2013 9:46 am

My car is one of the modern ones, with reverse.
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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Wed Dec 18, 2013 9:47 am

What good is reverse if there's a car one foot behind you?
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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Wed Dec 18, 2013 10:28 am

That depends entirely on horsepower.
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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Thu Dec 19, 2013 12:47 pm

And what if there's a horse just one foot behind you?
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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Thu Dec 19, 2013 2:27 pm

No problem. In fact, no need to even compare horsepower because in this case brains are involved.
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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Thu Dec 19, 2013 2:48 pm

Horse brains? Ummm. Yummy.
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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Thu Dec 19, 2013 2:57 pm

....  Hmmm .... (this explains a lot, actually)
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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Thu Dec 19, 2013 5:28 pm

But horses love apples..... Twisted Evil 
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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Thu Dec 19, 2013 7:39 pm

So do maggots.
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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Tue Dec 24, 2013 8:37 am

1. I haven't noticed that.
2. I didn't when I did astrology and tarot and what not. People asked me why, I cited that in jest.
3. Because blind people need the ATM too. Not everyone drives all the way up to it, you can stop and get out, or in the case of driving your blind friend to the bank you can pull up so the back seat is even with the machine.
4. http://blog.cupidintimates.com/2010/07/20/bras-panties-and-lcvgswomen%E2%80%99s-underwear-in-outer-space/
5. IDK but I hate that. I want to get out and beat them with their own bumper.
Rest of conversation:
Been there, done that. When I was in a 74 Blazer and the guy was an ass I backed that fucker up and shoved him back till I had room. Thing about car brakes is they don't work well in reverse. He moved pretty easily.
Now that I'm in a new Kia, I patiently wait for everyone to figure it out and go around and usually one will be decent and wait for me to go once there's room to pull back a little.

Because the fact is that out of the times I stop at a light, the percentage of times someone is going to break down right in front of me is miniscule. In all these years I've had it happen maybe three times. However if every jerkwad out there leaves a few feet it literally contributes to fewer cars going through the light and the back up of traffic. I watch that happen almost daily. It's stupid, stop doing it.
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NoCoPilot

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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Tue Dec 24, 2013 8:53 am

Lately it seems at every stop light I am followed by some redneck in a Ford F-350 pickup with lifter springs and extra bright headlights, who pulls up so close that his bumper actually touches my rear window.  Because his truck is 17 feet off the ground his high beams burn right into my rear view mirror, blinduing me and I have to shift my mirror to bounce off the ceiling.

I'd shift into reverse and push him back but I fear he'd just engage drive and flatten my ass.
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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Tue Dec 24, 2013 8:56 am

I've decided white men in trucks are the main assholes on the road. Assholes every time.
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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:47 am

Q: How do employees of door factories find their way out?
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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Thu Dec 26, 2013 7:19 am

Why am I the only person in the universe to load a new roll of toilet paper?
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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Thu Dec 26, 2013 9:11 am

Why are there no nudist rock bands?
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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Thu Dec 26, 2013 6:03 pm

Says who?

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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Thu Dec 26, 2013 7:13 pm

I had high hopes for Pussy Riot, but....
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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Thu Dec 26, 2013 8:51 pm

NoCoPilot wrote:
Why am I the only person in the universe to load a new roll of toilet paper?
You should talk to my wife. She's convinced she's the only one.
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PostSubject: Re: Eternal Questions   Fri Dec 27, 2013 6:55 am

Why are "listener supported NPR stations" allowed to run as much as several minutes of advertising every hour?
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