Your First Love

Do you still think about your first love? Do you regret not still being with him/her? How did that relationship affect all your subsequent relationships?

My daughter married her first love. In same ways I think that's the ideal.

No, unfortunately, I didn't. Of course, I was only 12 at the time - that may have created difficulties.
Nor did I marry the second, although her husband and I were great friends so it may have worked out.

NoCoPilot wrote:

My daughter married her first love. In same ways I think that's the ideal.

I married my first love.
Except for the children, I wish I hadn't married him.
The kids are glad though.

My first love was William Begani in kindergarten. We were inseparable. And I don't mean in a cheesy kid kind of way. We didn't have the vocabulary for it but we took to each other in away that people call "soulmates." It caused all kinds of shit. They made constant efforts to keep us apart and we'd thwart them at every turn. The last time we saw each other we had to be physically pulled apart kicking and screaming. And then we were kept apart in all the ways that asshole parents can come up with including separate schools.

Later in my dating life I never felt about anyone the way I did him so I never really got attached to any one guy, even my first "real" boyfriend. Ben was the first who came close and the only one I ever bothered being faithful to.

When Levi was a baby my mom accidentally came across Will's mom as she worked for an answering service. They talked and apparently forgot all about all they did to keep us apart and exchanged numbers. Will had his mom give my mom his number for me but I never called. To me there was no way for that to end but sadly. Either it clicked and oh joy- it clicks now that I'm married thanks a lot. Or it didn't and my memories of him would be ruined by the ass he had become. Either way I didn't see that ending well for anyone. I also didn't want to be reminded of the space between what I had wanted to become and what I actually had become. I don't need that, I'm well aware I failed myself greatly.

I still Google him from time to time and I hope he got out of here. I think he did.

Wow Jenni, that's a mini-movie.

When I was in college and lonely, I was studying in the library one day when a prospective student came in, walked through, and left. Something about her -- maybe the way she glanced at me -- struck me very deeply. I closed my book and ran after her. We chatted for a couple minutes, I got her story, but I was so nervous (and awestruck) that when I asked her to have coffee with me she said, "Maybe in a couple of years."

Hear that? That was the voices of millions of sperm crying out and suddenly being silenced.