Spam we never finished reading

ERRORS WAS DETECTED ON YOUR ACCOUNT (FIX NOW)

Dear Valued Customer,

Your PayPal account has encountered a problem due to a system
machinery error.

To keep your details safe, We implore you to verify your account
information.

Click Here To Verify

Yours sincerely,
PayPal Security Team.

Looks valid to me.

Quote :

Dear Blove, My name is Mr. Komi Dedier,I am Personal attorney to my late client, he operated a coded account with the Bank before he died on a motor accident on the 21st of April 2004, along with his wife and the only son, you bear the same last name with I have a business inherited fund transaction of US$13,580,00 Million, (thirteen million five hundred and eighty thousand united state dollars) which I need your assistance, I will need you to forward those information to me. Can i trust you for this transaction…….? Can you handle this transaction............? Can you sponsor this transaction……….? I f you can sponsor this transaction what will be your percentage …..? If you can please kindly forward those following information below. (1)Your Full Name: (2)Phone and Mobile: (3)Residential Address: (4)You’re Country: (5)Occupation and Age: Please if you are interested do contact me for more details on my personal email (komidedier.esq@gmail.com) Your Brother Komi Dedier.Esq

WTF is "blove"?

To: Learn French
Subj: Always wanted to speak german?

I feel deprived.

I've been using the internet since well before there was a world wide web, and I have never received one of these emails. Do the Nigerians hate me for some reason? I've never done or said anything deprecatory to or about them; why don't they trust me with their money?

Whose money???

Quote :

Dear customer,

You sent a mobile payment for £81.44 GBP to Lucy Atashsokhan. A message has been sent to the recipient asking to accept or refuse the payment.

Please note that it may take a little while for this payment to appear in the Recent Activity list on your Account Overview.

View the details of this transaction online


Your monthly account statement is available anytime; just log in to your account at https://www.paypal.com/uk/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_history. To correct any errors, please contact us through our Help Centre at https://www.paypal.com/uk/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_contact_us.

Amount: £81.44 GBP
Sent on: 03 August 2013

Yours sincerely,
PayPal

There are links all throughout this apparently-valid-looking e-mail. They all point to http://okd.tw/okd/pp

Quote :

We are seeking highly motivated, positive, reliable, team players. Our goal is
to provide excellent customer service to all our customers in order to keep
growing our company to it?s highest potential. We expect every employee to bring
exemplarity work quality that will benefit the team.

Most people in Europe and Africa believes that product being supplied from the
United States are the best in the world but most companies in the States do NOT
ship packages internationally! That is why we need you as our company
representative - as packages receiver.

Your Job description is as follows:

How do i receive packages? - You will be receiving packages from companies in
the United States on behalf of our company from various companies which will be
coming to you inform of small boxes.

When you receive any boxes for our company and what to do then? - The packages
can be received at any time during the working hours at your address. You have
to contact our company via email or contact by telephone that you have received
a package or packages. As soon as you contact our company via email or telephone
that you have a package or packages, we will provide you a shipping document
that contain address with receivers name and the senders name then you print it
and paste it on the box.

I am the one to pay for shippings charges? - NO! Our company have accounts with
USPS, UPS and FedEX couriers. Once they come just give the boxes to any of the
carries and you don't have to pay anything.

How will I send out the packages? - Is either you send the packages through
couriers office or our companies will schedule for pick up for you.

You will be receiving a payment of $50-$60 on each package you receive
approximately $300-$400 everyweek, it depend on your effort on receiving and
dropping a package.

Will like you to fill this form below and reply to the email if interested:-


First Name :
Last Name :
Phone (mobile) :
Phone (cell) :
Address :
City :
State :
Country United States
Zip Code :
Gender :
House or Apartment:


How often you at home?
Time you always at home?
Do you have relative that stay often at home?

Kind Regards
John Kenneth
Entrepreneur/Businessman

One wonders what the business is.

Quote :

How often you at home?
Time you always at home?
Do you have relative that stay often at home?

This is interesting.

You have gun? Big dog?

Me rob you long time.

Quote :

USPS.COM | Copyright 2013. All Rights Reserved.
USPS .COM



Notification,

Our courier couldnt make the delivery of parcel to you at
19th August.




*Print label and show it in the nearest post office.
Print a Shipping Label*

Quote :

Beloved , Please kindly accept my apology for sending you this email without your consent. I believe you are a highly respected personality, considering the fact that I sourced your profile from the people’s search data base on the web during my discreet search for a partner whom can assist me in bringing the dreams of my late husband come through. I Mrs. Kajal Sharma suffering from cancerous ailment. I was married to Sir Sharma an Asia shipping tycoon notable for his great charitable activities before his death in April 2nd, 2006. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of Fifteen Million United States Dollars ($15,000,000.00 USD) which were derived from his vast estates and investment in capital market with the security company in INDIA which were derived from his vast estates and investment in capital market (All records are kept with my family lawyer). Presently, this money is still with the security company in INDIA. My Doctor told me recently, that I have limited days to live due to the cancerous problems that i have been suffering from. Though what bothers me most is the stroke that I have in addition with the cancer. With this hard reality that has befallen me, I have decided to donate this fund to you and i want you to use this gift which comes from my Late husband’s effort to establish a charity home for the up keep of widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, the down-trodden, physically challenged children, barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped financially. I took this decision because I do not have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy persons and I do not want my husband hard earned money to be miss-used or invested into ill perceived ventures, which is the reason i took this bold decision. I do not need any telephone communication in this regard due to my deteriorating health and because of the presence of my husband relatives around me. You can contact me through my personal email address: kajal.sharma1@aol.com As soon as I receive your reply via my email: (kajal.sharma1@aol.com ) i shall authorize my Attorney to issue you a Letter of Authority that will empower you as the original beneficiary of the fund. And the up keep of your family, for your effort in seeing that people are brought out of their predicament.(Note that all charges has been paid to get all the documents done ). Please assure me that you will act just as I have stated herein. Hope to hear from you soon. Remain Blessed. Mrs Kajal Sharma

What are the chances the REAL Pierre Omidyar has anything to do with this?  I'd say about 0%...

Quote :

Greetings to you and your family.

This email will come to you as a surprise because for me also to write this
email is a surprise to me.

In a million years, I never thought i would do something like this.

My Name is Pierre Omidyar, Below is a Link of me and what i do.

http://www.forbes.com/profile/pierre-omidyar/

I have been giving my wealth away for a while now to various Charities and
Causes i really care about but recently i had a dream which i wont go much into
and i decided i needed to be more personal with giving my wealth away.

I want to touch ordinary people in a way that has never been done before.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/clareoconnor/2010/09/23/pierre-omidyar-ridiculous-rich-and-giving-it-all-away-2/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/20/ebay-founder-pierre-omidyar_n_1020884.html

So i decided i was going to contact a few people via their emails which i paid
for from a Marketing Firm online.

If you happen to receive this email and you read this email, I am giving you
$1.3 Million.

Yes you might say this is too good to be true, Yes it is because thinking about
it again, I must be crazy to do something like this yet i am doing it.

So if you reply, You will be paid $1.3 Million.

This is my personal journey to fulfill my life, I hope you accept this special
gift from me and my family.

Pierre Omidyar
pierre.omidyar@aol.com

Incidentally this email came not from AOL but from pierreomid300302n@yahoo.com.

Where do you think these people get your email address?
I have five email addresses, and I get lots of spam, which is 99% caught by the spam filter, and I've been using the internet since before there was a WWW, but I have never received one of these messages.
I wish I did; it looks like you could have some great fun corresponding with some of them.

They are really quite rare, much much less than 1% of the spam, I'm sure. But it would be surprising if you'd never received even one. Probably they just get buried in the junk and you don't notice them.

Before deleting the spam capture box, I actually look for anything that may be one of these. Never had one. I fell deprived. But not much.

_Howard wrote:

Where do you think these people get your email address?
I have five email addresses, and I get lots of spam, which is 99% caught by the spam filter, and I've been using the internet since before there was a WWW,  but I have never received one of these messages.
I wish I did; it looks like you could have some great fun corresponding with some of them.

Oh no, responding to one of these would be a very grave mistake. Then they'd know your e-mail account was active. Very bad idea.

If you want endless hours of entertainment however you can go to a website like 419eater.com and read about what others have done.

richard09 wrote:

They are really quite rare, much much less than 1% of the spam, I'm sure.

I'm not so sure of that.

My spam filter catches almost all of these, and as I've said before, I occasionally thumb through my spam folder just to make sure something useful hasn't been flagged. It is great fun to read the latest tactics of the Nigerians, because they're always changing, and often get surprisingly cunning.

But 1%? No, in my experience -- and I get a couple dozen of these per week -- they're more like 20 or 30%.

Why do I get so many? I do a lot of international email and belong to several newsgroups and forums with membership primarily outside the US. My address is out there, like it or not.

NoCoPilot wrote:

Oh no, responding to one of these would be a very grave mistake.  Then they'd know your e-mail account was active.  Very bad idea.

I would set up a new email account used only for screwing with these guys.

NoCoPilot wrote:

If you want endless hours of entertainment however you can go to a website like 419eater.com and read about what others have done.

I've seen that site, but I haven't been there for a while. Yeah, it's some funny stuff.

Quote :

Hello,

Quit paying too much for cable receive up to 932 Dollars on your TV Entertainment

Click Here to quit paying too much

Why do cable companies keep charging More and More while their customer service gets worse by the day.
You don't have to take it anymore.
Our Advertiser Is Offering For Only 19.99 a month yes only 20 Dollars a month
Watch Everything Go Anywhere Only the Hopper® lets you watch live and recorded TV anywhere¹ and instantly skip commercials² in recorded primetime TV. Plus, you can record 6 different shows at the same time during primetime² and store up to 2,000 hours of your favorite shows. coverage.

Here's what you will receive for only $20 per month Blockbuster
HBO, Showtime, Starz, Cinemax
Over 100 Channels
2 Room HD DVR (record up to 2000 hrs)
Installation In Up To 6 Rooms & Lots More...
for you.

Press Here to quit paying too much

If the links in this email are not working, please move into inbox.

Have a lovely day,

Sue

The Hopper is of course Dish Network, the worst scam out there.  I have never heard of a single person who was satisfied with Dish.  I tried pressing on my screen where it said "Press Here" but nothing happened.

I love the way Random Capitalization has taken over the internet.

Quote :

Dear Beneficiary,

Congratulations! Your ID have been shortlisted for UN- COMPENSATION OF
£750,000GBP.due to the recent Economic calamity that befalls the world
stock market, this compensation is meant to help people to get of
standard and help the world Economic growth. In regards to your
payment formalities, you are advised to provide to us the following
information’s listed below:

1) Your Full names:
2) Your Address, either home or office:
3) Tel/Fax:
4) Any form of identification, either a copy of your international
passport or driver’s license,
5) Occupation

Forward the above mentioned via ( uncorg@fengv.com ) and We shall
further instruct you on what to do for the immediate release or
approval of your awarded compensation payment.

Yours sincerely,
Mr. Kassym Jomart Tokayev

What the hell is "un-compensation"?

NoCoPilot wrote:

The Hopper is of course Dish Network, the worst scam out there.  I have never heard of a single person who was satisfied with Dish.  I tried pressing on my screen where it said "Press Here" but nothing happened.

I don't know about the Hopper, but I had Dish service several years ago and was completely satisfied with it, until there was a hardware problem with one of the receivers that pissed me off. I have been giving a lot of thought about switching back from DirecTv to Dish, because the fucking price goes up nearly every month - it's almost twice what it was seven years ago (and I'm not talking about the low introductory price).
Why do you say that Dish is a scam?

_Howard wrote:

Why do you say that Dish is a scam?

http://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/directory/dish-network
http://www.programmerinterview.com/index.php/assortment/dish-network-scam/
http://www.clarkhoward.com/videos/clark-howard/scams-rip-offs/new-dish-network-call-scam/vCBG2h/
http://www.consumeraffairs.com/cable_tv/dish_network.html
http://mythreecents.com/reviews/dish_network
http://dish-network-reviews.measuredup.com/2043/Reviews/Consumer-Complaint-1
http://www.bbb.org/denver/business-reviews/television-cable-catv-and-satellite/dish-network-in-englewood-co-6370/complaints (13,504 customer complaints closed with BBB in last three years!)

When my dad died he had Dish.  It took me three months to cancel the service.  I received MULTIPLE calls per day offering him discounts if he would just sign up again.  I explained he was dead a couple dozen times then started hanging up as soon as they identified themselves.  Eventually I escalated through three tiers of supervisor, finally talked to somebody who actually had the power to stop the calls.  Apparently death is the one circumstance that allows you to actually stop service without a cancellation fee in the hundreds-of-dollars.

Plus... any firm that advertises via unsolicited e-mail is not your first class outfit.

Quote :

Dear Customer,

This is our last warning attempt that your online account has been temporarily
limited.

A large number of failed login attempts have been recorded in your account, as a
security measure had to temporarily limit your account.

To restore your account we have attached a form to this email, please download
and complete the form.

After completing the form, within 12 hours you will be called by one of our
operators to confirm the data sent.

Note: For security reasons we recommend you open the Internet Explorer browser.

If you choose to ignore our request, you risk that your account be suspended
indefinitely.

We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.

Honestly, HSBC Customer Security Department.

Honestly?  Really?

Of course I've never had an HSBC account. Nor would I, with this sort of scam allowed to continue.