Memories....

"Memories... You're talking memories." In the movie Blade Runner Dr. Eldon Tyrell experiments with giving his replicants implanted memories to make them feel more human. Memories are to a large degree who we are.

This week I've been going through my dad's boxes and boxes of photos, both prints and slides. Lots of rolls taken on various vacations all over the world, pictures of cats, pictures of parties, pictures of fallen trees on their property. All sorts of memories.

For him, not for me. Most of these are meaningless to me -- pretty sunset photos, people I don't know in front of landmarks I can't identify. I've been throwing them away in droves. Throwing away my father's humanity.

It's funny, the few pictures that I've set aside to keep are the throw-away shots, the funny personal shots of my dad or mother or the family. The shots a SERIOUS photographer never takes. Snapshots, as opposed to pictures.

The ones that have meaning to me are not the ones that are taken as "aide–mémoire" but the ones taken as silly attempts to embarrass or humiliate each other. The ones that are not personal memories -- and thus gain some sense of universality.

Yeah, I find I appreciate more the family pictures that were shot unplanned and by surprise. There is something about capturing a moment unknown or unplanned for that captures the real essence of that person as one remembers them personally. posed pictures are as common and dull as door nails and are often tossed first, if any are tossed.

I know a lot of people who like to take their best pictures and digitize them, then start a family website/memory page. It's something I've been wanting to do for a while. It gives me the feeling that somehow, perhaps, I am immortalizing my memories of these people and making them last into the future... It's an odd impulse to have, but it's something I'd still like to do before I kick off.

I posted 5,000 of my sister's best shots when she died. She was a serious photographer and very proud of her work, although too self-effacing to do anything about it herself.

My dad's shots... not so much. Fish caught. Tents erected. Trees sawn up.

Nobody's gonna miss THESE photos.