New Toys

Me: "Hey Samuel, what do they call The Whopper in Paris?"

SLJ: "Surprise, motherfucker, it's just called "The Royal Cheese."

Me: "Hey Samuel, set an alarm for 6:50" (so I can watch the hearings)

SLJ: "Alarm set for 6:50 am. Makin' me work in the morning? You better have a good fuckin' reason!!"

Me: "Hey Samuel, tell me a joke."

SLJ: "Here's a dirty joke: a boy fell in some shit. Clean version: he took a shower."

Me: "Hey Samuel, tell me a dirty joke."

SLJ: "What do I say to a casserole as I take it out of the oven? You're done, motherfucker."

Me: "Hey Samuel, who's your favorite actor to work with?"

SLJ: "I'm not gonna tell you. Too many people would get their feelings hurt."

Long story, I'll keep it to the Reader's Digest version.  I've been contemplating adding a TV screen to my music room.  I'm basically all set up for surround sound, have comfortable seating, and a rack of DVDs and BRDs.

In order to fill the field of view from my viewing distance (about 15 feet) it'd have to be a big screen, like 85" minimum.  Those go for anywhere from $1300 to about $6400.  That's a lot of moola considering I can already watch movies in the next room.

So I'm still weighing the wisdom.

Meantime I've been playing with the settings on my receiver.  It has DSP digital signal processing, with some built-in presents like "rock concert" and "jazz club" and "movie theater." Now, I have a pair of pretty nice rear speakers I built for my sister (RIP) forty years ago, and I've played with surround sound off and on since moving into his room.  All of the presets just send an echoed & delayed signal to the rear speakers, with some differences in how much cross-echo is added to the front.  I generally decide after a while that I prefer all the gimmickry turned off.

But I knew, or at least suspected, that this receiver would do discrete 5.1 multi-channel, with different signal going to each speaker.  Never figured out how to work it before.

It's behind another preset called "entertainment," and one menu below that (not obvious). I have a couple of SACDs with 5.1 content, so tonite I'm hearing them in 5.1 for the first time.

So far, not much in the way of special mixing....

"So far, not much in the way of special mixing" because, although my receiver will do 5.1, and my CD player claims it will "play SACDs," in the fine print (on page 16) it sheepishly admits that SACDs are converted to 44.1/16 stereo. No hi-def, no multi-channel.

Fooey.

Alexa is losing money hand-over-fist, because it wasn't really designed to generate revenue.  Sounds like Amazon will probably downsize or shitcan it.

I hope the let us legacy customers continue to use it.

Huh, did I mention my other new toy?  I can't see where I did.  Apologies if this duplicates.

Somebody mentioned these over on the classical music forum, and they sounded interesting, and they were on sale at Amazon for half-off, so a couple months ago I purchased a Monster Boomerang.


It's a headphone that you wear around your neck.  Instead of speakers right up against your ears, there are speakers that sit on your collarbone.  You get some bone conduction to your collarbone, leading to the illusion of bass, more bass than you'd expect.  The speakers face up, so you still get the headphone effect, except instead of the sound seeming to come from inside your head, it seems to come from a two-foot bubble around your head.  It's kind of a cross between headphones and small speakers. They're designed for gaming, or TV watching, or hands-free telephone (they have a built-in microphone).

They're no substitute for my real speakers of course but they're actually really good for some things.  Like right now, I'm dubbing a cassette to my computer so my stereo is tied up.  But I'm reading while I wait for the cassette to finish, and I fired up my iPad and the Boomerang and am listening to the Portland classical music station while I read.

NoCoPilot wrote:

Alexa is losing money hand-over-fist, because it wasn't really designed to generate revenue.  Sounds like Amazon will probably downsize or shitcan it.

First to go: Samuel L. Jackson. So long, motherfucka. It was fun while it lasted.

My music room is an add-on to the house, so it is not tied into the central air furnace.  It has heaters in the wall, which work well generally.

Over the past month though the thermostat has been getting fruity.  Instead of turning off when it reaches the target temperature, it pauses a few minutes then comes on again.  The room has gotten a few degrees above the set point, several times.  Worrisome where that could end up.

It's just a cheap dial thermostat ($40 at Home Depot) and I've contemplated replacing it, but it's A) not too much trouble to get up and turn it down and B) it's 240v and I hate dealing with high voltage. So I've been putting off replacing it.

Then Saturday, it stopped working altogether. Couldn't get the heat to come on at all! It got down to 57° because it's in the thirties outside.

Called two electricians and they wanted $250 ... and a month to get to it.

Talked to my son-in-law, and he's replaced several of these thermostats before so he was happy to take it on.  He alerted me to the fact that there is now a model of 240v thermostat which is a smart thermostat, with schedules and iPhone apps and geofencing, and even Alexa integration.  He has put three of them in the condo.

Fuck yeah.  Overnight delivery from Amazon.

So we put it in tonight.  Slicker than snake snot.  No more worrying after I've gone to bed if I remembered to turn off the heat.  No more walking into a cold music room when I first wake up.  No more exposing my CD collection to heat swings of 20°.

"Alexa, raise the temperature to 68."

NoCoPilot wrote:

 The speakers face up, so you still get the headphone effect, except instead of the sound seeming to come from inside your head, it seems to come from a two-foot bubble around your head.

Listening to an environmental recording this morning, using my Boomerang, and the stereo effect is quite remarkable.  You not only get a full-field left and right directionality, you also get a paradoxical up and down directionality.  There is no up and down information in the original music file of course, but because the tweeters face up in this thing and the woofer (bone conduction) faces down, you get height from your collarbone to your ears.  It's really an amazing illusion.

I wear my headphones quite a lot, which is OK, but sometimes a bit annoying. So I said what the hell and bought a Boomerang.

So far, so good. Thanks, I'd never heard of this before.

Sunday night I had a brainstorm.  I had to get up out of bed in the middle of the night to order them on Amazon.

I hate cleaning the gutters.  Moving a ladder every two feet, getting a stable footing with each set, dragging a yard waste bin with me. It suddenly occurred to me: drywaller's stilts.  Get me up 2 additional feet in the air, walk down the gutter cleaning as I go.
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When they arrived Monday my wife had a conniption. "You will break and arm or a leg or both, and I'm not taking you to the hospital." I felt pretty confident, with the things strapped to my legs they'd feel like an extension of my legs and I could keep my balance... but the mechanics of getting UP ONTO them and DOWN OFF of them did pose some trepidation.

After mulling it over for a day, I decided my wife was right.  Stupid idea.

Going back tomorrow, untried.

Around here, companies like LeafFilter advertise all the time, all over the place. Ever considered the idea?

Yes. Work great for leaves. Counterproductive for pine needles.

In 35 years of marriage, I have learned two rules:

1. Wife is always right
   
2. If there appears to be an exception, see #1

This year for the wife's annual trip back home to Minnesota I elected to buy a 5th generation Amazon Dot, with the time display.  Replace the skanky old AM radio that's never used.  It's in the guest bedroom, where I usually sleep, so I can:

• ask what time it is, when I don't have my contacts in
  
• make lists
  
• remind me of brainstorms I have but always forget by morning
  
• play music / news / podcasts
  
• set alarms / timers / reminders
  

Normally these suckers are $65 but I saw a refurb on Amazon for $20 off so I couldn't resist.  Setup was dead easy.  When I bought it, Amazon asked me if I wanted to set it up before it arrived, so I gave it a name, added it to a group, told it what wi-fi network to look for. When it arrived I plugged it in, and it pretty much configured itself.

Now that I have four(!) Alexas throughout the house, I thought of an experiment I could perform this morning.  I asked each Alexa, in turn, to play All Classical Portland on TuneIn, my favorite classical music streaming radio station. Now every room of the house is beaming delicious classical music.

It's like having my own personal Sonos system.

Okay, this is a consequence I did not expect.  The four Alexa's are gradually drifting out of sync with each other.

Right now it sounds echoey. By this afternoon it'll probably sound like avant-garde music.

Poking around on the Alexa app, I discovered an option called "speaker groups" that lets you group multiple Alexas to play simultaneously. So I created a group called "Whole House" and put all four Alexas in it.

Now when I say, "Alexa, play All Classical Portland from Tune-In on the Whole House," they all play -- and stay in sync.

Today's task was one I've been putting off for, well, since we moved into the new house eight years ago.

My TV cabinet (home entertainment console?) has been cobbled together since way before we moved. When we moved I pretty much brought it over intact. It has in it:

• my Comcast router (provides TV + landline + wi-fi, using co-ax + internet CAT5 inputs)
  
• my Comcast TV cable box (with co-ax cable + internet input, HDMI output)
  
• my new TV (4 x HDMI input + internet input)
  
• my main Blu-ray/DVD player (HDMI output + internet input)
  
• a second DVD player which is set to region 2 (HDMI + internet)
  
• a third player which is (I think?) a 3D Blu-ray player (HDMI + internet)
  
• my ancient old VHS player which still works great (co-axial XYZ connections only)
  
• an Apple TV box (HDMI + internet)
  
• an HDMI selector box 2-in/1-out
  
• My sound system receiver/amplifier

When I replaced the TV earlier this year, I lost the XYZ connection input but gained an HDMI, going from 3 to 4.

Now, a couple of caveats:

• I RARELY have any need for the VHS deck
  
• I NEVER use the Apple TV box (and my new TV has Apple TV built in anyway)
  
• my old TV audio was connected to the receiver via a headphone jack on the TV
  
• the speakers built into the new TV are much better than the old TV. In fact, the only reason to use the receiver, with its attached tower speakers and subwoofer, is for movies and concerts where 'concert sound' is expected

So the new TV was hooked up same as the old TV, with the exception of the VHS which sat idle. Essentially, everything worked--with a little remote control juggling.

Here's what set off today's flurry of activity: the headphone output has suddenly developed a hum. Why? Dunno, unable to track it down. Been using the TV's built-in speakers to bypass it, but this is not a permanent solution. It required switching the output every time I powered up.

So my task today was to address the hum -- which meant addressing the connection deficiencies -- which meant doing some new cabling.

First off, I had to tear the back off my TV stand. It's against the wall so the back didn't show, and wrestling cables through the small access holes I'd cut was ridiculous. Getting the back off entailed undoing eight screws and jigsawing the holes so I could slip the cables out without undoing them.

Well, actually before that I had to find a longer TV coax cable because there was zero play for pulling everything away from the wall... but that was easy.

Next I traced the wiring on everything and attached everybody to the TV in a logical order: HDMI#1 = Comcast Cable, HDMI#2 = Blu-Ray, HDMI#3 = Region 2, HDMI#4 = switchbox, which will go between the lesser-used options:

• 3D Blu-Ray
  
• VHS deck
  
• Apple box

Since my switchbox was only a 2-in/1-out, I ordered a new 4-in/1-out.

I already had an internet splitter back there, so getting all seven internet connections was easy, with one to spare.

Checking the new TV, it has an optical audio output... and YES!, the receiver has an optical in. Ordered a new optical cable.

Checked to see if anyone makes a component red-white-yellow converter box to HDMI and YES! they do, so I ordered that.

Cleaned up everything. vacuumed a ton of dust, dressed the cables, and move the console back against the wall. When the new stuff comes I should be good-to-go.

Until the next thing comes along.

The internet connections to the disc players are vestigial.

When DVDs first came out, some of them had additional features available (interviews, making-of documentaries) that you could download off the internet if you had the disc.

They don't do that anymore. It never caught on.

Then the players started coming with built-in internet apps like Apple TV or Netflix or YouTube.

Of course all that comes through the new TV now.

I'm like Emily Hartley on the Bob Newhart Show. In one episode Bob Hartley (Newhart) was reading her grocery list, and said, "You have fennel on the list. Did you mean a funnel?"

"No," Emily replied. "I have a slot for "fennel" in my spice cabinet, and I've never used it. I don't even know what it's used for, but it bugs me having an empty spice slot."

Heh, my optical cable didn't show up yesterday with the converter and the switchbox, so I checked into my Amazon orders... and it was still sitting in my cart.  I never finalized the order!  Oops.

So when it showed up today I had to plug it in right away and test it on "Blade Runner 2049" -- wowsa.  The home theater sound system is awesome.

A couple days ago I was playing around with my Alexa in the music room.  I had an idea that I could Bluetooth it to my stereo, and then play Pandora via voice commands instead of going through my iPad.

Alas, the "available devices" for Bluetooth connection did not include the Bluetooth receiver I use on the stereo.  There was just a single choice, which was identified only by its IP4 address, no device name.  And connection to it, whatever it is, seemed to be unsuccessful.

The next day, my Alexa was glowing red, instead of its usual blue.  That usually indicates a lack of internet connection.  So I unplugged it and let it restart.  Still red.

Unplugged the Wi-Fi repeater in the room and plugged it back in. Still red.

What the heck?  Repeated the process a couple of times, and the next day, hoping whatever anomaly in the Wi-Fi would work itself out.

The Alexa app showed the device working normally.

So this morning I said, "Alexa, what time is it?" and the answer came out -- through my stereo!  Apparently the red light indicated the internal speaker on the Alexa was disabled, not that the internet connection was bad.

I was not aware that my iPad -- playing Pandora through the stereo -- could be connected via Bluetooth at the same time Alexa was connected to my stereo via Bluetooth.  Learn something new every day.

There was a glowing red LED on top of the Alexa.  When I pushed it, the red light around the rim went out. I asked Alexa what time it is, and this time she answered from the Alexa, with blue lights glowing. Cool.  The Bluetooth connection is push button controllable.