Gambling, a form of religion?

My friend with the new car had to bring it back to the dealership today to have the optional trim pieces installed, the dealer is right by one of the tribal casinos, so I went with him to have lunch in one of the EXCELLENT restaurants in the casino while he waited.

After lunch we walked through the gambling floor.

HUNDREDS of video slot machines. Lots of bright shiny blinking lights and bells and bongs and loud music. LOTS of zombie-like unhealthy white people sitting there feeding in $20 bills and pushing the big red PLAY button.

I just shook my head.

Not a religion, just an addiction.

I'm not so sure about that.

Last night I watched the movie "Get Shorty," with John Travolta and Rene Russo and Harvey Keitel and a bunch of other guys.  In the movie, a dry cleaner comes into a bunch of money ($300,000) because he wasn't on an airplane that crashed.  He gets the life insurance from his wife and takes it to Las Vegas.  Of course with a big stake like that, he wins big, over a million dollars.

In the movies, the odds of winning in Vegas go up the more you have to gamble with.  Small-time players are BOUND to lose, of course, because they have to quit before hitting it big.  But if you have a couple hundred thousand dollars, you can afford to stick with it until you win big.

That's the kind of logic religion uses.

But it's a logic that doesn't hold up to scrutiny.  If casinos were disadvantaged by big players, they'd be inundated with big players and quickly go out of business.  The odds of winning are the same, whether you bet $20 or $200,000.  Yes, you might hit a few more winning hands, but overall the casino is still going to come out way ahead.

With religion, they tell you if you "sorta believe" in a magical sky father, live piously and do good deeds,  you'll die and go to hell.  In order to really hit the jackpot, you have to go all in and believe to the exclusion of everything else.  You have to be a rabid believer, betting your entire life on an uncertain payout.  Otherwise, you're just a sucker.

Otherwise, you're on the losing side of the bet.

Otherwise, you'll begin to question the logic.

Walked through the casino again today with my friend who likes to drop $20 into a video slot machine.

The first time he used his membership card.  His $20 went straight to $0 on 20 one dollar bets.

After lunch (an excellent salad) he wanted to try again.  I said, "This time don't put your membership card in."  Yes, you don't get "player credit" (after losing about $200 or $300 they give you a "discount" at their restaurants or hotel...) but if the machine doesn't know who you are, the programming will try harder to keep you playing.  Sure enough, after two plays he won $12, so he cashed out $30 on a $20 bet.

Video slot machines are not random.  They're programmed, and the programmers know human behavior and always use the same tactic.  Give a little, take a lot.  People get hooked by being momentarily up, and keep playing.  They figure the longer they play (and the more they bet--see above) the more the are BOUND to win.

But it doesn't work that way.  Casinos never go bankrupt (unless they're for laundering Russian drug money, like Trump's). They play on people's greed and lack of mathematical common sense to maximize profits (my mother always said gambling was "a tax on the mathematically illiterate.")

In this huge ballroom there are thousands of video slot machines, with flashing lights and scrolling video screens and constant bonging and binging and whistles and little jingles, while overhead loud music plays.  Anything to keep the players distracted and awake.  Meanwhile hundreds of retirees sit in the darkness, beer by their side, clutching a handful of $20 or $100 bills and feeding them into their machine, pressing the big red blinking button over and over.

No doubt using member cards so the casino knows EXACTLY your personal tolerance for loss (based on your history), and feeding you one $5 win every time you're ready to quit and walk out.

Oh well.  The tribes have nice schools now.

I think I've finally convinced my friend. Last week, by playing anonymously, he won $27 on a $20 bet (cashing out $47).

Today he won $47, cashing out $67. He said, "I wonder what would happen if I put in $100..." and I said "Don't you DARE" and he flashed me a big grin. He was kidding.

When I visited a casino in England, close to 50 years ago, you couldn't just walk in and gamble. You had to visit first, and say you intended to gamble, then come back another day to actually gamble. A sort of waiting period, I suppose. And the place was relatively small. One-armed bandits weren't really a thing at all. Blackjack and roulette were the popular games.