Products That Do The Opposite of What They're Supposed To Do

I don't get it.

I was out shopping today and somebody's car alarm was going off in the parking lot. Rather than deterring theft, it made me want to smash the window to turn the fucking thing off.

I often say, in my wittiest tone of voice, that spoilers on the back of cars really do spoil the looks. As I understand the physics, a real spoiler only starts to provide downward force over about 150 mph. Below that they're just ugly accoutrements, that make the car owner look silly.

I am often amazed at the "beauty industry" as if buying products could change your genetics. Although I concede a light makeup job on a pretty girl can often enhance her looks by smoothing out skin tones and emphasizing her eyes, what happens the rest of the time is like the old saying: "like putting lipstick on a pig." It doesn't enhance looks; it draws attention to the ugliness.

Similarly, there's nothing that turns me off more than gelatin frisbees inserted under the skin on some poor girl's chest. Again, the "beauty industry" has promoted the lie that all women have to be at least a C-cup, when many of us find small breasts more attractive -- and they're certainly easier to dress. If a boob doesn't wiggle like a real boob it's an instant turn-off.

It been documented that diet sodas cause weight gain. I forget where I read this -- and it may be apocryphal rather than causal -- but something in the sodas causes hunger I believe I read, leading to drinkers eating more. At any rate you often see large people in line at fast food restaurants order a diet Coke to go with their 1200 calorie meal.

This thread should be renamed "Things NoCoPilot doesn't like."

As you wish, my Liege.

I'm not saying that I disagree with all of your points, only that the thread title is not what you describe.

* Book dust jackets

Originally designed to protect the book, most people now take them off to protect the dust jacket and let the book take the abuse.

We nerds who used to work in the school library know you're supposed to put that sleeve over the dust jacket so it's protected and still on the book.

It sure seems right, though. I mean, when you see a four-hundred pound guy in a motorized scooter with a diet Pepsi, it makes you wonder. Of course, if you notice the three whole chickens and two-gallon bucket of fries he is eating it may clear things up.

Plastic sheeting, one side sticky, comes on a roll, you're supposed to lay it down whenever you need to protect your carpets.

Like, from cat pee.

Trouble is, the stuff REFUSES to stick down. It won't grab on carpet, it won't grab on carpet pad, it won't grab on underlayment. Pulls right up, dislodges when you step on it, lifts with your foot. Even bare feet.

ITSELF however... it you get it within 3" of itself it sucks itself together into a great big ball that cannot be unraveled by man nor beast no way no how. Like Saran Wrap on steroids.

It goes in the trash bin.

I've used plastic sheeting like that and loved it. If it's the same stuff I used, it's not meant to be permanent. You put it down to protect the carpet while you're painting, or doing something else which can damage the carpets. When you're finished, the stuff picks up easily, and doesn't leave any adhesive on the carpets.