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 The Living Dead

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_Howard
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PostSubject: The Living Dead   Mon Sep 02, 2013 12:14 pm

This bug has been on the back deck all morning. I first noticed it about four hours ago. Its body is completely gone (consumed, I assume) and there is one leg lying about a foot away from the head.

The strange part is that the head seems to be still alive. The antennae (or whatever they're called) are still occasionally moving (no, it's not the wind; there isn't any). I know that the head of a pit viper can still bite you after it's been removed from the rest of the snake (yes, yes they can) but I had no idea that a bug's head could remain active hours after being removed the body.

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PostSubject: Re: The Living Dead   Mon Sep 02, 2013 5:37 pm

Who knew the Zombie Apocalypse would be on such a small scale?
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PostSubject: Re: The Living Dead   Mon Sep 02, 2013 6:13 pm

I think they are called Zombugs.
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PostSubject: Re: The Living Dead   Sun Sep 29, 2013 11:59 am

Mystery Solved

When another of the bugs showed up last weekend, I took a close look to see if it was moving. The head looked too desiccated to still contain any life, but I did detect a small movement of one of the feelers. As I was watching for further movement, a small (about 1/8" diameter and 3/8" long) green bug crawled out the back of the head. So what I had observed was the yummy bits on the inside of the head being eaten.

What I haven't figured out, however, is what kind of bug it is; I've not  seen a live one in the thirteen years I've been in this house, and I've only seen five dead ones. Also, why do they always turn up in the same place on the same day? Every one I've seen - five of them in the past six weeks - have been in the same place: within a one-square-foot area on the deck; all have been discovered on Sunday or Monday morning (another this morning); and all have been consumed with only the head and legs remaining. Not quite one of the great Mysteries Of The Universe, but odd, nonetheless.
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PostSubject: Re: The Living Dead   Sun Sep 29, 2013 2:14 pm

_Howard wrote:
What I haven't figured out, however, is what kind of bug it is; I've not  seen a live one in the thirteen years I've been in this house, and I've only seen five dead ones. Also, why do they always turn up in the same place on the same day? Every one I've seen - five of them in the past six weeks - have been in the same place: within a one-square-foot area on the deck; all have been discovered on Sunday or Monday morning (another this morning); and all have been consumed with only the head and legs remaining. Not quite one of the great Mysteries Of The Universe, but odd, nonetheless.
Perhaps -- and this is just a theory now -- perhaps your life is on some kind of endless loop (a la "Groundhogs Day") and you keep living the same day over and over.

Perhaps -- and this is just a theory now -- perhaps your life is on some kind of endless loop (a la "Groundhogs Day") and you keep living the same day over and over.

Perhaps -- and this is just a theory now -- perhaps your life is on some kind of endless loop (a la "Groundhogs Day") and you keep living the same day over and over.

Perhaps -- and this is just a theory now -- perhaps your life is on some kind of endless loop (a la "Groundhogs Day") and you keep living the same day over and over.
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PostSubject: Re: The Living Dead   Sun Sep 29, 2013 3:19 pm

Perhaps - and this is just an assumption - you are referring to the Movie Groundhog Day (not Groundhogs). Seems like a reasonable assumption. Uh huh. Yeah, that makes more more sense than simple coincidence, which my simple mind would have gone with. But I still don't know what kind of bug it is. Damn legs are about two inches long.
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PostSubject: Re: The Living Dead   Sun Oct 06, 2013 6:03 pm

Well, another Sunday and another bug. It's starting to really piss me off that I can't figure out why these things only show up on the weekends. And only one at a time.
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PostSubject: Re: The Living Dead   Mon Oct 07, 2013 8:36 am

Perhaps -- and this is just a theory now -- perhaps your life is on some kind of endless loop (a la "Groundhog Day") and you keep living the same day over and over.
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PostSubject: Re: The Living Dead   Mon Oct 07, 2013 11:34 am

Maybe just a case of deja bug.
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PostSubject: Re: The Living Dead   Mon Oct 07, 2013 12:42 pm

_Howard wrote:
But I still don't know what kind of bug it is.
Looks like a grasshopper or locust to me.

And we already know they're delicious.
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PostSubject: Re: The Living Dead   Mon Oct 07, 2013 3:13 pm

I'm sure it's some kind of grasshopper. The legs make that apparent.
But...I DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHY THEY ONLY SHOW UP ON WEEKENDS.

And grasshoppers should not be eaten raw. They often contain worms that are hazardous for humans.

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PostSubject: Re: The Living Dead   Mon Oct 07, 2013 3:53 pm

_Howard wrote:
I DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHY THEY ONLY SHOW UP ON WEEKENDS.
Your upstairs neighbor has a pet praying mantis.  Every Friday he goes to the pet food store and buys live grasshoppers, but he tears off the heads because he doesn't want his mantis to "eat the worm" (tequila reference!).  He feeds the body to his mantis and throws the head out the window, where it lands on your deck, the same exact spot every week.

Mystery solved.
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PostSubject: Re: The Living Dead   Mon Oct 07, 2013 4:33 pm

Your attempt at solving this puzzle is greatly appreciated. Unfortunately, the deck is covered and my nearest neighbor is about 1,000 feet away, not upstairs. Try again.

Speaking of the praying mantis: Would one male mantis ever say to another, "Hope you get lucky tonight."?
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PostSubject: Re: The Living Dead   Mon Oct 07, 2013 4:49 pm

Let me just say this. Your "attempt" at humor is as pathetic as your inexplicable inability to accept a perfectly rational explanation for the perceived anomalies you, um, perceive.
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