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 Terrible Puns

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NoCoPilot

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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Thu Dec 17, 2015 10:59 am

A. Nun The Less.

A. Escort Service
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Sat Dec 26, 2015 8:46 am

Downtown there's a seafood restaurant whose highest-rated entree is almost inedible. What's the dish?
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Sat Jan 02, 2016 2:05 pm

What do you call it when the lizards and frogs suddenly stop working?
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Sat Jan 02, 2016 2:17 pm

An amphibious strike?

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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Sat Jan 02, 2016 2:20 pm

That works too. I was thinking "reptile dysfunction."
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Sat Jan 02, 2016 2:23 pm

Reptile dysfunction is much better. Actually, I have never heard the term "amphibious strike" used, and I spent over three years in PhibPac. The term was always amphibious assault. Often coupled with vertical envelopment.

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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Sat Jan 02, 2016 2:53 pm

We were using different meanings of the word "works"; an example of one of the huge problems with the English language.

Both our answers are not quite right, in any case. Frogs are not reptiles and lizards are not amphibians.

But in a certain border region between the US and Canada, your answer is not a problem.  They have easy access to Niagra. Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing (well, it is the terrible puns thread)

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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Sun Jan 03, 2016 7:21 am

_Howard wrote:
But in a certain border region between the US and Canada, your answer is not a problem.  They have easy access to Niagra. Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing (well, it is the terrible puns thread)
And on that note:

What do an Amish barn-raising and Viagra have in common?
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Sun Jan 03, 2016 5:02 pm

Ha! Far too many options for that.
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Sun Jan 03, 2016 6:07 pm

C'mon, just post the obvious one.
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Fri Jan 22, 2016 1:00 pm

C'mon, you know you want to.
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Sat Jan 30, 2016 6:31 am

What do you use to save the soul of vegetables?
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Sat Jan 30, 2016 1:26 pm

A peel to its inner goodness.
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Sat Jan 30, 2016 3:53 pm

No, the correct answer is "lettuce spray."
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Sat Jan 30, 2016 4:39 pm

Groan!
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Sat Jan 30, 2016 9:45 pm

If you like that one...

What do an Amish barn-raising and Viagra have in common?

"You should seek professional help for an erection lasting longer than four hours."
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Thu Feb 11, 2016 10:39 am

If Tom Waits did a Beatles cover, which one would he do?

"For No One"
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Thu Feb 11, 2016 10:44 am

NoCoPilot wrote:
Downtown there's a seafood restaurant whose highest-rated entree is almost inedible.  What's the dish?

The five star fish dish
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Thu Feb 11, 2016 1:05 pm

NoCoPilot wrote:
If Tom Waits did a Beatles cover, which one would he do?

"For No One"

Clever. Took me a moment before I began groaning.
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Mon Mar 07, 2016 7:18 am

The bakery downtown has two types of bran muffins; with, or without raisins.

What do they call the ones without?
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Mon Mar 07, 2016 7:27 am

Bran muffins?

Muffins sans raison
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Mon Mar 07, 2016 9:20 am

Cereal with your muffin, for a balanced breakfast.

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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Mon Mar 07, 2016 9:57 am

I was going for "Reason For Living" muffins, but Groenig spoiled it.
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Mon Mar 07, 2016 10:24 am

The Simpsons stole the bit from an old Saturday Night Live skit.
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PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Mon Mar 07, 2016 10:27 am

I didn't say it was a NEW pun... Just a TERRIBLE one.
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Terrible Puns
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