Terrible Puns

Mrs NoCo's favorite breakfast cereal is Kix -- when she can find it!

Has she looked on Route 66?

Every good gardener has a stable of hoes.

There was a sprint at the local high school track meet.

One boy won, and 59 others tied for second. The race was over in sixty 2nds.

On the last day of charm school they teach the girls how to use their eyelashes to maximum effect. It's called batting practice.

Digital-to-analog converters.

Digital Calculator

Huh?

You need a picture of an abacus.

Wyoming? Well why not?

My piano keys are covered in scales.

Q: What do you call a camel with a head at each end?

A: No, not a Pushmi-pullyu.  A Palindromedary.

Jenni wrote:

http://www.mprnews.org/story/2016/01/23/vegan-butcher-shop

But is it halal?

Joe's Tows:

Neon sign above the lot says "TowHere"

Sign at the customer desk says "ToWhere."

A guy gets shipwrecked. When he wakes up, he's on a beach. The sand is dark red. The sky overhead is dark red. He gets up and notices that the island also has dark red grass, dark red birds and dark red fruit on the dark red trees.

"Oh no!!" he says, "I think I've been marooned on a desert island."

Q. What's the only thing worse than when it's raining cats and dogs?

A. Hailing taxis.

NoCoPilot wrote:

"I think I've been marooned on a desert island."

Or --- "I've been deserted on a maroon island."

Either way, major groan.

There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."

Why did the newly-sold robot go back to the factory?

Because it was recalled. It was a Samsung robot.

No, because it was about to change hands.

Whaddya call a song about cheese?

Not bad -- but I was looking for "an homage to fromage."