| Terrible Puns | |
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NoCoPilot
Posts : 20169 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 69 Location : Seattle
| Subject: Terrible Puns Wed Apr 03, 2013 11:27 am | |
| Downtown there is a trendy bar named "Element O."
There is only one toilet in the ladies room.
The author of the Harry Potter books walks in.
Last edited by NoCoPilot on Thu May 15, 2014 5:40 am; edited 2 times in total |
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NoCoPilot
Posts : 20169 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 69 Location : Seattle
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Wed Apr 03, 2013 7:25 pm | |
| I used to work in a data center, and they had this fire suppression system consisting of these big discs full of gas around the perimeter of the room.
Apparently the stuff works by sucking all of the oxygen out of the air, almost instantly.
They told us, in the event of a fire, not be be worried about flames or smoke. They told us to RUN AS FAST AS WE CAN from the fire suppression system. |
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NoCoPilot
Posts : 20169 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 69 Location : Seattle
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Wed Jun 05, 2013 4:04 pm | |
| I have three quarters in my pants pocket. Good thing I don't have another, I'd have to get new pants. |
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NoCoPilot
Posts : 20169 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 69 Location : Seattle
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Fri Aug 02, 2013 8:12 pm | |
| Why is a riot in the grainfields like a Jamaican legend? |
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NoCoPilot
Posts : 20169 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 69 Location : Seattle
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Wed May 14, 2014 2:39 pm | |
| What do you call a demonstration of how to debone fish? |
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_Howard Admin
Posts : 8734 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 79 Location : California
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Wed May 14, 2014 2:51 pm | |
| - NoCoPilot wrote:
- Why is a riot in the grainfields like a Jamaican legend?
Mob Barley. Too easy. |
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richard09
Posts : 4227 Join date : 2013-01-16
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Thu May 15, 2014 9:17 pm | |
| When I go for a walk into Park Slope, I see a store called Aerosoles. For some reason I always see Arseoles. |
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NoCoPilot
Posts : 20169 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 69 Location : Seattle
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Fri Jul 11, 2014 3:09 pm | |
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_Howard Admin
Posts : 8734 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 79 Location : California
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Fri Jul 11, 2014 3:12 pm | |
| - NoCoPilot wrote:
- E E E
That's two Es E. Okay. It's brown Es (brownies). But two Es E is sillier. |
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NoCoPilot
Posts : 20169 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 69 Location : Seattle
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Fri Jul 11, 2014 3:27 pm | |
| No attempts at the earlier ones? |
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_Howard Admin
Posts : 8734 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 79 Location : California
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Fri Jul 11, 2014 4:02 pm | |
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_Howard Admin
Posts : 8734 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 79 Location : California
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Fri Jul 11, 2014 4:21 pm | |
| - NoCoPilot wrote:
- I have three quarters in my pants pocket. Good thing I don't have another, I'd have to get new pants.
If you had another quarter, then you would have a whole in your pocket. |
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NoCoPilot
Posts : 20169 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 69 Location : Seattle
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Fri Jul 11, 2014 5:47 pm | |
| Good, you got two or three of them. The rest can't be that hard! |
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_Howard Admin
Posts : 8734 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 79 Location : California
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Sat Jul 12, 2014 9:35 am | |
| - NoCoPilot wrote:
- What do you call a demonstration of how to debone fish?
A filet display? |
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NoCoPilot
Posts : 20169 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 69 Location : Seattle
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Sat Jul 12, 2014 12:15 pm | |
| - _Howard wrote:
- NoCoPilot wrote:
- What do you call a demonstration of how to debone fish?
A filet display? Very close. A filet show. |
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NoCoPilot
Posts : 20169 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 69 Location : Seattle
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Sat Jul 12, 2014 12:16 pm | |
| - NoCoPilot wrote:
- Downtown there is a trendy bar named "Element O."
There is only one toilet in the ladies room.
The author of the Harry Potter books walks in. "Hi, J.K. Welcome to the Element O pee queue." |
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_Howard Admin
Posts : 8734 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 79 Location : California
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Sat Jul 12, 2014 12:32 pm | |
| I was just about to say that. Really. |
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NoCoPilot
Posts : 20169 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 69 Location : Seattle
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Sat Jul 12, 2014 2:37 pm | |
| - NoCoPilot wrote:
- I used to work in a data center, and they had this fire suppression system consisting of these big discs full of gas around the perimeter of the room.
Apparently the stuff works by sucking all of the oxygen out of the air, almost instantly.
They told us, in the event of a fire, not be be worried about flames or smoke. They told us to RUN AS FAST AS WE CAN from the fire suppression system. Halon wheels. Aside from the fact that halon doesn't actually come in big discs, everything else about this story is 100% true. |
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_Howard Admin
Posts : 8734 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 79 Location : California
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Sat Jul 12, 2014 3:59 pm | |
| I came up with "halon ass" but rejected it. I guess it was close, though.
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NoCoPilot
Posts : 20169 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 69 Location : Seattle
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Tue Jul 22, 2014 5:18 am | |
| Pedestrian overpass -- why can't they dress those things up? |
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NoCoPilot
Posts : 20169 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 69 Location : Seattle
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Thu Jul 24, 2014 10:36 am | |
| What do you call a vegan butcher shop? |
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_Howard Admin
Posts : 8734 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 79 Location : California
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Fri Jul 25, 2014 1:07 pm | |
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NoCoPilot
Posts : 20169 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 69 Location : Seattle
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Tue Aug 26, 2014 7:51 am | |
| Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? |
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NoCoPilot
Posts : 20169 Join date : 2013-01-16 Age : 69 Location : Seattle
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Wed Sep 03, 2014 8:07 am | |
| What do you call a man who has lost his ears to leprosy? |
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richard09
Posts : 4227 Join date : 2013-01-16
| Subject: Re: Terrible Puns Wed Sep 03, 2014 7:45 pm | |
| - NoCoPilot wrote:
- What do you call a man who has lost his ears to leprosy?
Anything you like - he can't hear you. |
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