HomeHome  CalendarCalendar  FAQFAQ  SearchSearch  MemberlistMemberlist  UsergroupsUsergroups  RegisterRegister  Log in  

Share | 
 

 Terrible Puns

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
Go to page : 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next
AuthorMessage
NoCoPilot

avatar

Posts : 11412
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 63
Location : Seattle

PostSubject: Terrible Puns   Wed Apr 03, 2013 11:27 am

Downtown there is a trendy bar named "Element O."

There is only one toilet in the ladies room.

The author of the Harry Potter books walks in.


Last edited by NoCoPilot on Thu May 15, 2014 5:40 am; edited 2 times in total
Back to top Go down
View user profile
NoCoPilot

avatar

Posts : 11412
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 63
Location : Seattle

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Wed Apr 03, 2013 7:25 pm

I used to work in a data center, and they had this fire suppression system consisting of these big discs full of gas around the perimeter of the room.

Apparently the stuff works by sucking all of the oxygen out of the air, almost instantly.

They told us, in the event of a fire, not be be worried about flames or smoke. They told us to RUN AS FAST AS WE CAN from the fire suppression system.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
NoCoPilot

avatar

Posts : 11412
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 63
Location : Seattle

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Wed Jun 05, 2013 4:04 pm

I have three quarters in my pants pocket. Good thing I don't have another, I'd have to get new pants.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
NoCoPilot

avatar

Posts : 11412
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 63
Location : Seattle

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Fri Aug 02, 2013 8:12 pm

Why is a riot in the grainfields like a Jamaican legend?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
NoCoPilot

avatar

Posts : 11412
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 63
Location : Seattle

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Wed May 14, 2014 2:39 pm

What do you call a demonstration of how to debone fish?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
_Howard
Admin
avatar

Posts : 7504
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 73
Location : California

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Wed May 14, 2014 2:51 pm

NoCoPilot wrote:
Why is a riot in the grainfields like a Jamaican legend?

Mob Barley. Too easy.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
richard09

avatar

Posts : 2517
Join date : 2013-01-16

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Thu May 15, 2014 9:17 pm

When I go for a walk into Park Slope, I see a store called Aerosoles. For some reason I always see Arseoles.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
NoCoPilot

avatar

Posts : 11412
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 63
Location : Seattle

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Fri Jul 11, 2014 3:09 pm

E  E  E
Back to top Go down
View user profile
_Howard
Admin
avatar

Posts : 7504
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 73
Location : California

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Fri Jul 11, 2014 3:12 pm

NoCoPilot wrote:
E  E  E
That's two Es E.

Okay. It's brown Es (brownies). But two Es E is sillier.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
NoCoPilot

avatar

Posts : 11412
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 63
Location : Seattle

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Fri Jul 11, 2014 3:27 pm

No attempts at the earlier ones?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
_Howard
Admin
avatar

Posts : 7504
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 73
Location : California

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Fri Jul 11, 2014 4:02 pm

Not a fucking clue.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
_Howard
Admin
avatar

Posts : 7504
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 73
Location : California

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Fri Jul 11, 2014 4:21 pm

NoCoPilot wrote:
I have three quarters in my pants pocket.  Good thing I don't have another, I'd have to get new pants.
If you had another quarter, then you would have a whole in your pocket.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
NoCoPilot

avatar

Posts : 11412
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 63
Location : Seattle

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Fri Jul 11, 2014 5:47 pm

Good, you got two or three of them. The rest can't be that hard!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
_Howard
Admin
avatar

Posts : 7504
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 73
Location : California

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Sat Jul 12, 2014 9:35 am

NoCoPilot wrote:
What do you call a demonstration of how to debone fish?
A filet display?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
NoCoPilot

avatar

Posts : 11412
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 63
Location : Seattle

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Sat Jul 12, 2014 12:15 pm

_Howard wrote:
NoCoPilot wrote:
What do you call a demonstration of how to debone fish?
A filet display?
Very close.

A filet show.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
NoCoPilot

avatar

Posts : 11412
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 63
Location : Seattle

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Sat Jul 12, 2014 12:16 pm

NoCoPilot wrote:
Downtown there is a trendy bar named "Element O."

There is only one toilet in the ladies room.

The author of the Harry Potter books walks in.
"Hi, J.K. Welcome to the Element O pee queue."
Back to top Go down
View user profile
_Howard
Admin
avatar

Posts : 7504
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 73
Location : California

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Sat Jul 12, 2014 12:32 pm

I was just about to say that.
Really.
 Rolling Eyes 
Back to top Go down
View user profile
NoCoPilot

avatar

Posts : 11412
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 63
Location : Seattle

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Sat Jul 12, 2014 2:37 pm

NoCoPilot wrote:
I used to work in a data center, and they had this fire suppression system consisting of these big discs full of gas around the perimeter of the room.

Apparently the stuff works by sucking all of the oxygen out of the air, almost instantly.

They told us, in the event of a fire, not be be worried about flames or smoke. They told us to RUN AS FAST AS WE CAN from the fire suppression system.
Halon wheels.

Aside from the fact that halon doesn't actually come in big discs, everything else about this story is 100% true.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
_Howard
Admin
avatar

Posts : 7504
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 73
Location : California

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Sat Jul 12, 2014 3:59 pm

I came up with "halon ass" but rejected it. I guess it was close, though.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
NoCoPilot

avatar

Posts : 11412
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 63
Location : Seattle

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Tue Jul 22, 2014 5:18 am

Pedestrian overpass -- why can't they dress those things up?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
NoCoPilot

avatar

Posts : 11412
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 63
Location : Seattle

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Thu Jul 24, 2014 10:36 am

What do you call a vegan butcher shop?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
_Howard
Admin
avatar

Posts : 7504
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 73
Location : California

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Fri Jul 25, 2014 1:07 pm

Bankrupt?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
NoCoPilot

avatar

Posts : 11412
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 63
Location : Seattle

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Tue Aug 26, 2014 7:51 am

Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
NoCoPilot

avatar

Posts : 11412
Join date : 2013-01-16
Age : 63
Location : Seattle

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Wed Sep 03, 2014 8:07 am

What do you call a man who has lost his ears to leprosy?
Back to top Go down
View user profile
richard09

avatar

Posts : 2517
Join date : 2013-01-16

PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   Wed Sep 03, 2014 7:45 pm

NoCoPilot wrote:
What do you call a man who has lost his ears to leprosy?
Anything you like - he can't hear you.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Terrible Puns   

Back to top Go down
 
Terrible Puns
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 7Go to page : 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
 :: Topics :: Just For Fun-
Jump to: