The opposite of a 'bucket list'

Do you have a 'fuckit list', things you always thought you might do but have come to realize now that you never will?

For me:

• Climb a mountain
  
• Skydive
  
• Drive 200 mph
  
• Write a book
  
• Fuck Peggy Lipton
  

I guess I could never had a Fuck-it List, as I've never had a Bucket List.

• Climb a mountain
  Never saw any sense in that, but my doctor has climbed six of the seven.
  
• Skydive
  Wanted to try this when I was attending avionics school in Memphis, but the training took too much time while I was in school.
  
• Drive 200 mph
  Done it.
  
• Write a book
  Started two. Does that count?
  
• Fuck Peggy Lipton
  Christ. She's 68 years old. Does she have a grand daughter?
  

Woo-hoo, I get to cross off one item from my Fuck-It list. Mrs NoCo has agreed -- consented -- decided that we should visit the Big Island in December to see Kilauea. I've always wanted to visit an active volcano, and never thought I'd get the chance. We visited Oahu when we were dating, and honeymooned on Kuaui but I've never been to the island of Hawai'i.

There are also Swim with Dolphins and Scuba Dive side trips possible. I was certified for SCUBA in 1969 but haven't really done it since -- Mrs NoCo has a couple of near-drowning incidents in her childhood so she has a pathological fear of open water. I couldn't even get her to go wading on Oahu where schools of multicolored fish swam up to you looking for a handout. She won't go boating and isn't even comfortable in a pool. I mean, I was swimming before I could walk, and have always loved the water.

I tied a couple of times to introduce her to the beauty of the ocean, but her visceral unreasoning reaction was sheer animal terror. Freaky.

I don't really have a fuckit list because I'm trying to maintain the hope that I can do the things I wanted to at some point. Even kids. I know I will never give birth to another child but I'd totally take a foster kid whenever my situation permits. I'd like an old one too, some 15-17 year old that no one wants to deal with cuz they aren't a cute little baby but who nonetheless needs a family especially at such a crucial time in their lives.

Flying a plane, too. I have some flight school hours. I have every hope of one day getting in and taking the controls again. I'm not JFK Jr. I actually know how to use the instruments.



I think my "fuckit" list is actually the list of things I will do when it's time to say "fuck it". When I've lived long enough and dying may not be something I want to take care of myself but if it came I wouldn't mind. When I'm in that place I have a list of things I want to do. Things that might be dangerous, that I feel strongly about but don't want to do while I'm in a situation where people are relying on me and I'm young and could conceivably have many years ahead.