Defeated by a Knob

I pride myself on being pretty technological, being able to fix most things and figure out how stuff works. It's hard for me to admit defeat.

But last week Mrs Noco closed the bathroom door downstairs, when she left for work, to keep Desi and Louie from trashing the bathroom. Unfortunately she somehow depressed the pushbutton lock button when closing the door, so it was locked from the inside.

There is no keyhole on the outside.

The only route into the room is the 12"x12" window above the shower, which we keep securely locked since our break-in, and I wouldn't fit through it anyway.

It took me several days to get the bathroom door open again, and in the process I pretty much destroyed the doorknob. It was either that or remove the doorjamb.

I had spare parts, and figured I could reassemble the lockset replacing what I'd destroyed, or put a different knob on. But when I went to reassemble the knob, I could not figure out how it went together (it was a non-standard design). I spent an hour and a half futzing with it, turning it every which way, trying to suss out how the FUCK it was supposed to go together. There was literally no way those parts were ever gonna fit. I got so frustrated I resorted to a hammer to try to force the metal to squeeze -- unsuccessfully. I finally said 'fuck it' and bought a new lockset from Home Depot for $8. Within a minute it was in and working.

Must be a sign of Alzheimers.

What a knob!

I mean the one on the door, of course.

This is why you install the locks that are push-button on the inside but also have a slot on the outside so you can unlock them with a screwdriver or butter knife.

Most interior doors have about 1/4" gap between the door and the frame. This is plenty of space to use two small screwdrivers to move the latch and open the door. I've done it a few times; really easy. For push-button locks, the lock only prevents the exterior knob from being turned; it does not prevent the latch from being moved to open the door.

Yes, I could've pried open up the door jamb. Decided I didn't want to. With a door that opens to the inside of course the jamb is in front of the latch (from the outside).

You probably couldn't see it, but I just slapped my forehead.
Of course, interior doors typically open into the room where the lock is. Duh. That does make it much more difficult. Of course, most interior doors can be unlocked from the outside with a small screwdriver or awl.

In this silly house, one bathroom has a door that opens in; one has a sliding door; and one has two doors, one of which opens in and one that opens out.

Well when I finally got the knob off I felt like a royal dolt, the outside half of the lockset of course is the half with screws that hold it together. It almost has to be that way.

But the screws were concealed and I didn't find them until I'd destroyed the dang blasted thing.

This lock set is a real piece of work. Must be some designer shit from a very twisted mind. NOTHING is visible.